Words of encourgagment

I have been so blessed to have such a great group of friends.   It has been so nice the past 1 1/2 years to hang out with such a wonderful group of mommies and their children.   When your a stay at home mom it is really nice to have a support group like this.  

I let all of them know our news of Twins.  They all had such great things to say and offered support if I ever needed help.

One friend emailed me "Your going to be one busy woman but if anyone can do it you can"

 And another emailed me "And don't get overwhelmed thinking about having twins...if there is anyone who can do it, it is YOU. I view you as super mom because you are always so good with all of the kiddos at our playgroups! :)

How sweet are these words of encourgagment?  

Another friend who had twins wrote me this "We need to talk girl"   Hmm...does this sound encouraging?  hahah!!!

Twins

It is such a blessing and I still can't get over it.  It does explain why I am already starting to show and can barely wear my jeans anymore.  

I am excited but also scared.  

I was picturing having another baby, breastfeeding, coming home from the hospital right away....basically this pregnancy and birth being easy peasy since we had so many complications with Cassie.   Well...Twins won't be the case.   They usually require a NICU stay, most likely I would be a c-section and I could be put on bed rest.   My friend who had twins said I am in for a long 9 month ride but it will all be worth it.  I know she is right and I am going to do everything I can for these 2 babies inside of me.  What a journey God has laid before me.

I am also scared in regards to the logistics of twins. Feeding, picking them up and going places when I am by myself and then also throw in a preschooler.   This will be a challenge for sure. At least Cassie will be close to 4 by the time they come.  She knows there are 2 babies.  When we told her she said "Holy Cow" then she said "I get one baby and you get the other"  Works for me Cass...I am going to need all the help I can get.

I also want things to be normal for Cassie once the babies come.   So my plan is once I am in a routine that I will still try to do all our normal activities we do now.  Still go to our friends house for play dates (plenty of hands there to help me) still do story time and some parks.   Now big things like the zoo I will hold off for when Daddy is around.   The scary part of all this is being just me with 2 hands and 2 newborns.   I'm sure once they are here and I'm in a routine it will be fine.  Its just me sitting here thinking about everything.   

I already woke up at 2 in the morning thinking of all the things we need to buy.   I thought we were set on baby stuff but Twins means we need 2 of everything.  We need another baby shower!! Haha! 

Wow.  Again, so amazing I have two little babies inside of me.  Man...how huge am I going to get?    I am going to need to be on extreme makeover after this!  Ha!

That God has entrusted two more babies to my care...what an awesome responsibility.

6 weeks and 5 days preggo - 1st U/S

Today was our big day.  I was full of anxiety.  Once minute I was calm and confident and the next minute thinking they would do the ultrasound and not find anything.

I layed down on the table.  Cassie sat in a chair and held my hand while Matt stood.  My doctor started the u/s and I saw it right away.  

We are having......


TWINS!!!!!!!!

Holy Cow huh??  I am still in shock.  I have to admit I freaked out at first.    All I can still keep saying is holy cow.   When I called my Mom I almost burst into tears.  I just can't believe it.   Both babies looked great.  They are both measuring right on time, both of their sacks are measuring great and we heard both of their heart beats.   Both babies hearts were in the 120's.   At this time with Cassie her heart rate was 111 so these babies are going strong.    We have to go back in next Friday for another u/s to make sure everything is still going OK, we are still so early in this pregnancy but our doctor said so far everything looks great and she sees nothing that concerns her.   So that is our big surprise.   And here are our twins

Thanksgiving 2011

We went to my parents house for Thanksgiving this year.   My Grandparents came, my aunt and Matts parents came   There was plenty of food and it was so yummy....especially dinner.  I could not get enough mash potatoes and gravy.  Mmmmmm.  So good.

Me, Cass and my Dad

Cass wanted to do the same pic with Daddy in it

We also watched the football game and our Packers are still undefeated.   Go Packers and Go Aron Rodgers!!!!  I'm usually  not into football but the Packers are making me want to watch.

Hugging Papa

5,4,3,2,1......

Blast off!

We could tell Monkey Papa wasn't feeling the best when he was over.   He has another round of chemo on Tuesday.   Say a prayer that all goes well.  Cancer is a horrible thing.

Cassie loving on Athena

Color time

Almost Monday.  I normally don't wish away the weekends but this time I kinda am.  The wait is way to long.  And why do I google things I shouldn't?   Like Blighted ovum?  Why do I do that?   I not only read one article on it I will continue to worry and torture myself by reading multiple articles on it.  I need to stop. 

We put our Christmas tree up last night.  Cassie helped hang all her ornaments, she has Hello Kitty, Cinderella, Dora and a few others.  She has know taken all of them off the tree and is playing with them on the floor like they are dolls.  

She now just came up to me with marker dots all over her arm and told me she has poison ivy.   Oh that girl.  Off to wipe off her arm now.

Ear Infection

Cass has had a stuffed up/runny nose and a plemghy cough for the past week.   A few nights ago in bed it made her wake up and she was gagging on it.  She ended up throwing up because of all the gunk in her throat.  I was worried it may be the stomach flu at first because I know its going around but thankfully it wasn't.  

The other night she told me her ear hurt and the next day it was fine.   Well she was still coughing today and I looked at her ear...it was pretty gunky so I took her to Urgent Care since there were no doctor appointments available.   She does have an ear infection and is now on amoxicillan twice a day and ear drops twice a day.   This is the first time she has ever had to take any meds by mouth.  When she was a baby I just squirted the meds into her g-tube.   She was a champ about taking the meds.   She actually said it was yummy, its nice to know I don't have to hide the meds in ice-cream or pudding or have to keep her from spitting it out.  

We are ready for Thanksgiving tomorrow!  Especially me....I am starving 24/7 so I am looking forward to all the yummy food.  Yes, I am going to stuff my face.   

Teaching and t-minus 1 week for u/s

Today was my first day in helping teach Sunday school and I really enjoyed it.  Cassie was so excited I was staying in the room today to be one of her teachers.  She also did really well listening to the other teachers when they said something even though I was in there...I kinda wondered how that would go.

At lunch when we prayed she said "Dear Lord, thank you for making my Mommy my teacher".   Awwwww!! 

This past week has been SLOW.   This 2 week wait for my first u/s is worse than the 2 week wait to find out if I was pregnant.  I just find it so hard to believe I am pregnant even though my beta numbers are nice and high, even though the nurse says my numbers are great, and even though I took 2 pregnancy tests.   I need to see it on the u/s.  I need to see a little beating heart.   I am going to be so anxious on the u/s day!!  I think its so hard because of everything you go through with IVF to get pregnant and when you see that positive result you are freaked out it will be taken away from you.   I know its out of my hands and stressing out about it won't help anything. 

Pregnancy symptoms are still being hungry all the time.   I wake up at 3 am starving.   I'm also tired.  The past 2 days I have fallen asleep on the couch while Cassie watched cartoons in the afternoon.

Cass and I are ready for this week to fly by!   Also looking forward to Thanksgiving with all of our family and putting up our Christmas tree on Friday.   I LOVE this time of year.

Crazy Lady....right here

So I fretted all night about my beta number last night.    I called my clinic this morning and left a message for the nurse asking for a 4th beta number for my peace of mind.  After I left the message I googled and found other woman who's 3rd betas took longer to double because of how high their beta was getting.   After re-reading that betas take longer to double once they reach 1,200 and other women's experiences I wished I hadn't have called my clinic...they probably thought I was a nut ball. 

My nurse called me back and said "So you want another beta?"  I said "Yea, and I am probably being crazy".   She agreed with me that I was being crazy....but it a nice way. :o)

She said that once betas reach a certain point they stop doubling and if I did a beta tomorrow I may not see doubling again because of how high my beta is.  She told me
"You have great numbers"  (And she emphasized the word great) "and your numbers are very reassuring. "  She told me to try to remain calm and relax untill my u/s.

I was looking over my cycle with Cassie.   At 19dpo with her my HCG was 329 and with this pregnancy its 1,661.   That is a pretty big difference!

Deep breath. It was so good to hear this nurse tell me that I am indeed crazy....and also reassure me that my numbers are great.

Beta 3

Beta today was 1,661.   I was a little concerned because it hadn't quite doubled so I asked the nurse about it.  She said it doesn't have to double, that they want to see a 65-75% increase in the numbers.   They wanted to see me at least at 1,600 and she said I'm above that so there are no red flags.    Then of course I had to google and everything said a normal doubling time is 48-72 hours.    My doubling time was 55 hours.  From what I have read my doubling time may decrease since my HCG is above 1,200.    So from what google and my doctor says all looks good.  Still nerve wracking untill the u/s!!!

I have no more betas and an u/s schedule for Monday the 28th.  Its going to be a long 2 weeks!   With Cassie I had an ultrasound at 5 weeks so they are making me wait an extra week.  

Beta #2

This morning we were out the door at 7:45 to head to our clinic for my second beta.  After my blood was drawn we went to Einsteins Bagels for breakfast and then to The Big Backyard for some fun playtime....I love that place!

Around noon we headed home and got the call.  All looks good.   My HCG went from 404 to 896!  My Progesterone and Estradiol were also good.  We head back on Monday for Beta #3!

Beta.....

  I am Pregnant!!!!!!

I went in for my blood draw around 10:00.  The nurse asked me if I had any idea what it would be and I told her no...it could go either way.  Crampy here and there.   The one thing I didn't mention is that I have been extra hungry the past couple days.  I will eat and an hour later I will be starving again but I didn't want to say anything because I thought it was all in my head.

We got home at 11:00 and the first thing I did was finally take a home pregnancy test.   I could not take waiting for the phone call.  I saw the second line right away and I was like "No way"!    Then I jumped around holding the pregnancy test in my hand thanking the Lord.  

I didn't want to tell Matt or anyone else that I was pregnant until after the beta number came in.  My clinic didn't call until 3 hours later so I am glad I took the test.    The nurse said my beta number was very good....404!   At this time with Cassie my number was only 46 so that is a huge difference in beta numbers!  I was hoping my beta would be at least 100, I was not expecting 404!  I go back in on Saturday and Monday to confirm the numbers are doubling and then we will schedule an u/s if everything continues to go well.

Thank you to everyone for all their thoughts and prayers!!!!

Tomorrow is Beta Day

I have been pretty calm the whole 2WW.   I have no clue what the result will be...not any idea.  I have some cramps here and there but thats about it.   When I was pregnant with Cassie I had minor cramps and no other symptoms my whole pregnancy.  So its pretty hard to say if the result will be positive or negative.  I have stayed away from HPTs.  I was tempted so I would just know because the wait does get to you but I don't want to see a negative and then still have to continue shots and still have to go in for the Beta tomorrow...that would be tortue to me.  Best to just wait for Beta day.  

No matter the outcome I am glad we tried this again otherwise I would always have wondered.   We could try again if this doesn't work out but to spend another $18,000.....not crazy about that thought.  If insurance covered IVF I would do it again, and again and again with out a second thought.

If it works what a blessing that will be.   If it doesn't we have our one little blessing that we are so thankful for.  We will take her to Disney World next year and all sorts of fun family vacations to look foward to.    So much to be thankful for no matter what the outcome. 

Our embryos

Here they are!!

Today is my last day of bed rest.  Its been nice but I am looking forward to getting back into our routine.   Laying on the couch you tend to just dwell on symptoms you may or may not have.   Tomorrow I have a blood test done to check my progesterone and Estrogen and then we are off to a play date.   Can't wait to see all our friends!!! 

Embryos on board

Everything went smoothly yesterday, however the transfer was delayed an hour because my bladder was not full enough....oops.  They transferred 2 embabies.  The embryologist said they were excellent and felt we had a good chance with them.  

All our other guys didn't make it to freezing. I was sad to hear that.

I do have a picture of our embryos that I will post later this week.  For now I am taking it easy on the couch.